Choices...

We all have choices in life.  When you are presented with a problem do you react or respond? Do you know the difference? Like the bright flashing lights that explode into the universe, is your fuse short and your kindness absent? It is easier to react, or more purposeful to respond?

As I have grown in my walk with God and tried to embrace all I can about His love, mercy and grace, I was struck by these two words found in the book Boundaries.

It has helped me see myself and others in a different light. Whatever role I have been in my life, wife, mother, grandmother, or friend, I can see how my reacting caused others grief and left me empty.

It can be a long journey to find who you are and find the peace we all seek. I have moments of sheer joy and peace, and no matter what the day brings I try to stay in that moment. Some days I have to seek the joy as life and its obstacles can be overwhelming.

The hardest thing for most people I think, is when to say yes to some and no to others. It is always determined by the situation, it is always about finding the balance.

Let's talk about that for a second. When we say yes we are relieved that we don't have to say no. In other words we won't cause any disappointment or hard feelings in those we love and care about. But sometimes saying yes to others when we don't feel that yes answer on our lips causes us to be angry, create guilt, and feelings of resentment. Saying no can produce the same feeling but it can give others the opportunity to grow in their own skin, and give you a sense of self and a new found strength in character.

We must learn the difference. We must learn to discern and listen to your gut or listen first to the wisdom of God.  If you are praying for someone or something, God has answers too, sometimes yes and sometimes no. We must learn to live with both answers and weave our own thoughts and lives into the middle of yes or no and find the balance we all seek.

No one promises a perfect life. Many believe that if you believe hard enough, pray hard enough, attend church enough that you will be free of obstacles. Obstacles and overcoming makes us grow, lean into the truths of life, and still continue to seek that sometimes elusive feeling of contentment and peace.

So today try saying yes or no to a situation you are not comfortable with. Be uncomfortable, but allow your answer to produce a new muscle in your mind and heart and continue to seek, be generous with your love and grow in the Word.

Spiritual maturity is gained day by day; it is the inevitable result of placing God permanently at the center of our life. Wisdom on the other hand is not like a mushroom it does not spring up overnight..It is, instead, like an oak tree that starts as a tiny acorn, grows into a sapling, and eventually reaches up to the sky, tall and strong. Seek wisdom everyday of your life. Seek it with purpose and consistency. Continue to seek God.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be give to him. James 1:5 NIV

Boundaries...

Photo by:
Christina Van Such Dawson

The bright light with a pink aura glistening on the water gave me pause to take a closer look at the picture my sister took on her 50th birthday. I thought it was taken at dusk, just before the sun disappears below the horizon.  But somehow her camera captured the brightness of the sun in the middle of the day. I think it is an awesome capture of God and His angels in attendance.

I just finished reading a book titled Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It is a powerful message about setting boundaries within ourselves and others.

There are many types of boundaries. For some it is physical, others spiritual and to many it is emotional boundaries that we must set for ourselves.

I often wondered why God has blessed me with continued good health and a purpose of strength and authority over my life. Now I think I  know what that means. Did God keep me here to be strong enough to say no to people or to continue to assist and have no personal boundaries? It is a question I ponder whenever adversities appear in my life, and I have to make that yes or no decision.

Knowing when to say yes and when to say no is a common theme throughout the book. Saying no is a powerful tool. Even in early childhood when your children are learning about life and values, we as parents must allow them to say no to some things. Saying no gives one power and eventually peace. If they are taught to always comply early on, how will they have the power to say no to drugs, alcohol, unseemly behavior and save their own personal space to grow.

Boundaries that are set in childhood unfortunately will walk right into your adulthood. If you don't know what to look for, or don't stay open to self examination, growth is impossible. Not only do we lose out on the blessings, but we hinder the growth of our own children by not teaching them when to say yes and the empowerment of saying no. For change to take place, it must start with you.

The book and its lessons have given me a better look at myself and others. It is biblically savvey and common sense rich. Scriptures are shared and weaved into an opportunity to see yourself, study yourself and begin in the smallest way to see others.

My sister and I have shared the same vision about being blessed and opportunities afforded us through the words of God. We stand strong in our vision and stay open to opportunities that brush our way. We are learning about discernment and self examination of the soul. She stands strong against her own private struggles and I stand firm in my continued faith and trust. We can feel each other through the knowing of God.

Boundaries that are set early on will enrich your life. At 65 I am just learning to set strong boundaries. It is never too late to learn, grow, share, love, and find the peace you seek. You just need to remain open, be willing to change something in yourself rather than trying to change someone else.

Set your boundaries and continue to love.

God values us and asks that we seek Him in adversity and celebrate with Him in triumphs.

Faith, hope, and love remain, but the greatest of these is love. (1Cor: 13:13)

Being vulnerable...

Sitting in quiet repose, I reflect on the past week of events in my life, and attempt to sort through what to hold onto and what to let go.

It was a whirlwind of faces, places, celebrations, and a few sad moments. There were many events to attend and enjoy, graduation, baby shower, visits with sons, sisters, nephews, friends, and new acquaintances not expected. 

There were also five visits to doctors, tests to complete, results to hear. All in all I returned with good results.

My transplanted kidney is strong and holding steady, my heart results good. I was thinking of how vulnerable we become when we visit a doctor and wait for those RESULTS!

Returning to a doctors office once again reminds me of being a patient, and I do indeed become vulnerable.
A walk past the dialysis unit with its pungent odor of medication and what used to remind me of death in some way triggers my brain into revisiting what was, but is no more. That familiar feeling of fear reappears.

I am not just a patient waiting for someone to tell me my fate or what my future will be. Instead I have grown in my walk and trust in God to be more than I think I can be.  There have been too many doctor visits, too many hospital stays, too many tests, too many bad results in the past 14 years. But I am still here, when by all accounts I shouldn't be.

Funny what your mind can do!  What doctors say is one thing, how you approach and live your life is another. I choose to live it fully and without hesitation. I refuse to be put in a corner and treat my mind, body and spirit as if it is somehow controlled by others, when in reality it is controlled by me.

If you think you are sick you are. The worst feeling is falling prey to being a victim. The universe and God provides us with all we need to cope and keep our bodies in tune. That of course doesn't mean that we don't follow doctors orders or be foolish about taking care of ourselves. Doctors can and are a God send to help us heal, then it is our job to do whatever maintenance necessary to stay well and live fully.

In your own life when vulnerability hits you between the eyes, stop, take a deep breath and refocus that energy into prayer, trust, and feel the joy that is yours for the asking. We especially need to do that through frustration, fear, anxiety, sadness, closing of a chapter in one's life, loneliness, and allowing others to make their own mistakes and follow their own path in life.

I will hold onto my God and let go of vulnerability and fear. It is a daily walk and I will continue to remind myself of the importance of letting go and letting God.

Remember that God rules both mountaintops and valleys with limitless wisdom and love, now and forever.

Learn to have a sense of humor, for these are the weapons of the angels...

Often in the midst of great problems, we stop short of the real blessing God has for us, which is a fresh vision of who He is...Anne Graham Lotz

Release...

Like the candles dancing in a purple haze of hope, we need to release that which does not belong to us, and release that which we cannot change. A flickering of hope gives us the opportunity to change ourselves, our views. and to see in ourselves and others God's great opportunities that He affords us.

It is amazing to me that we, men or women, think if we prayer hard enough, wait long enough or sometimes talk loud enough that others will hear us. Voices and thoughts are not always heard by those we care for the most. The louder your voice is, the least likely they are to hear you. Speak quietly, gently and with kindness in your voice and you will find people straining to hear what you are trying to say. Kindness and grace can make all the difference.

Letting go and releasing that which is unmovable, unchangeable, or not to our liking is one of our biggest challenges. I cannot change what people do, who they are, or how they affect me personally. I can only change my perception and how I view life in all its glory.

I juggled many visits with those I love and every visit had its own face of joy, sadness, fear and love. My emotions were high, low and somewhere in between.

Today I release all those things I cannot change to God and pray that I remain grounded, focused and full of love.

By loving God, life, people and ourselves, we will find what it is we earnestly seek. Love someone earnestly today.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10 NIV