You Can't Take It Back...

Words that is...we say things to our parents, children, spouses and friends that once the words leave your lips you have no idea what kind of mark you may leave. Let me share a few words with you written by my 29 year old son Eric. My kidney donor...

"After my moms heart attack I would hear them say...stress caused this to happen, and we need no stress in the house, we don't want this to happen again.I started kicking this around in my head over and over. OK, stress equals heart attack, I know the last few years I was doing drugs and alcohol and robbing and stealing and running the street, in and outta juvenile hall that might induce a little stress to a parent? The light bulb goes off its all my fault. It was my fault my mother had a heart attack. It's my fault she lost her career and can't make the mortgage payment. It's my fault she can barely walk down the street without taking a nitro.
At this time in my life I felt so much pain and grief. I caused my mother to get so sick."

I was not expecting all that came forth. I never realized that my son was filled with so much guilt and self hate. He somehow heard words that we said and put the two together and decided to carry that burden with him. He came home drug free in February 1997, I had my first heart attack and by-pass surgery in March 1997. By the end of the year he was drinking, using and carrying with him the self inducded guilt that he had caused his mother to become ill. You don't think that was a hard one to read...I could hardly breathe...

So mind your words...think about the possible damage it can do. This was hard for me (his mother) to read and comprehend. His writing and sharing gave me a very different view as to why he started using and how his own self hatred kept him away from his family, friends,and grandparents...His own shame and guilt consumed him.

We have talked and I have tried my best to help him unload this burden. We have a very special relationship. I carry him inside (literally) everyday with the gift of his kidney and now his heart. I am so very proud of you for writing and sharing with me what life was like for you. I am so sorry the burden was so heavy...Keep writing and give that burden to God...Let God help you heal.

And for all of us, mind your words...Like an arrow let loose...you can't take those words back. Listen to what your children have to say...and always be ready to accept responsibility for your words and actions...A heartfelt I am so sorry can help to heal and repair that damage we unintentionally may do.

I always let my conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that I may know how to answer everyone. (Col.4:6)

Unselfish love...

Everytime I participate in a Donate Life event I am always reminded of the true essence of why I am still here. People are not comfortable talking about donating their organs when they are alive, let alone when they have died. No one wants to talk about death, and yet it must be addressed if I am to share a story.

St.Joseph's Resource Center had their annual health event. Donate Life was invited. I was to meet a new volunteer today. He is what you want every volunteer to be. Here was a man that had lost his wife only a few months ago...and here he was today sitting and sharing his story to those who would listen. A husband and a family that understood the true meaning of giving another life.

Anyone listening to the story was moved, as was I. His story told from a donor family member, mine told from the living donor side...His wife donating her kidney to a man that is alive and well. My son gave me one of his kidneys 7 years ago...my living donor. It matters not about how we get the gift of life...it is what we do with the time we are given that matters..Make a difference...organ donation...an unselfish act of love. The best part of the day was making a new friend. Thank you for sharing your story, your time and your heart.

As shared by Dr. Vail in The Connection magazine. "I am obligated to be a donor," says Vail. "It is an obligation in my religion, Judaism." For Vail, donation is "the untimate mitzvah"-or act of human kindness. Thank you Dr. Vail for making a difference and knowing that sometimes out of death comes life.

National Donor Sabbath is coming November 13-15th. Ask your temples, churches, mosques and other religious centers to participate. Be a blessing and spread the word.

The first successful kidney transplant took place in 1954 when Ronald Herrick gave one of his kidneys to his twin brother. 55 years later we still have people waiting for the gift of life to come. Refer to article on blog Health News. A lasting success story.

For information about becoming a donor you can go to www.DonateLifeAZ.org or call 1-800-94-donor.

I am devoted to others in brotherly love. (Romans 12:10)

Soul Writers...

Ernest Hemingway had his own inspiration...Tonight I reconnected with mine. The new name of the group the Soul Writers.

I was so inspired by this small but powerful group of writers that I just wanted to share how and why we need to be open and willing to embrace all the positive energy that is afforded us.

These are the people I can count on to extend a hand if I fall down, an ear to listen, and an embrace to comfort. We all need that kind of support and love for one another. It is out there, but you must become free and empty ourselves of all the junk that we so dutifully carry around. You can't receive all that God has for you if you entertain negative thoughts or hold onto negative energy.

I have learned to unclutter my mind, heart, soul and spirit. It is an on going journey. We are never done with ourselves. I continue to want to grow in wisdom, love and hold onto the peace that I found.

In our trying to fix everyone and everything. we must leave some of the work and fixing to God...We are the vessels and we can deliver, but occasionally the vessel needs to dock in port and refuel.

Let your heart reach out and embraces all that God has for you. I promise you the journey and peace that awaits you is only a touch away. Reach out and touch someone this week, whether that is a physical touch, a phone call, a kind word. Remember to be gentle in your ways and loves those who give to us so richly and unselfishly. Being surrounded by God's energy with people in that same energy is an experience everyone needs to feel. Thank you to those in tonight's group that touched me. I am honored to be called your friends and be a soul writer with you. Keep writing...I am so very proud of all of you. Writing...what an adverture.

Nothing will work unless you do...Maya Angelou


That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered act of kindness and love...William Wordsworth

Courage...

Uncle Bob was 78 years old when he went in for a routine operation to fix a heart problem. Four days after his surgery August 4th, 2007 he had a massive stroke that has left him paralyzed on the left side. He was never able to return home...He is still in a nursing home...And today I want to share my idea of true courage...His courage and the steadfastness and courage of his wife JoAnne and immediate family.

They are a special family in today's world. They have seen their mother and father through a very difficult bump in the road. They have loved them through it all. Their continued support and love has given my Uncle and Aunt a very special gift...the gift of family and unconditional love. In today's world that is a rare commodity. The elderly are often overlooked and misunderstood. We would all do well to pay attention to those over 70, they have much to teach...We have much to learn.

Uncle Bob just turned 80 in June. Prior to his illness he played tennis (his passion) taught classes, belonged to many organizations and gave his time to others...Through his generous spirit of love...He helped many and shared his sense of humor and wisdom and wittiness with anyone that would listen. He has lost the use of the left side of his body and has difficulty eating, but he remains courageous and has a willing spirit to stay a little longer. He can still tell a joke, has a memory of the past that is better than mine, and a spirit of courage we could all use when we think things are hard. To Aunt JoAnne, what courage you have had to leave all you know, move to a new place and be gracious through it all. We can all learn from you. You remind me of the Mighty Oak...standing tall and strong... To Uncle Bob and family, thank you for your courage and love, it comes shining through. You do our family proud.

Take courage, and turn your troubles into material for spiritual progress.
St. Francis de Sales

Love...

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. but people will never forget how you made them feel... Maya Angelou

How many times this week did you embrace the love before you? How did someone make you feel, or the deeper question...how did you make someone feel?

It doesn't take much to feel the love from others. You only need to reach out...
This week I received love from a child, you know one of those hugs that is given without a prompt. A genuine glad to see you, wrap their arms around your neck and feel like they will never let go kind of hug.

It was a sigh hug...You know when you feel the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day. They are the sighs of God telling you to breathe and embrace what is. It could be a hug from a friend or someone you just met. A hug given from your heart will always be felt by others. Go hug someone this week and give a big sigh.
And never let them forget how you made them feel...

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Gal. 5:6