Leading the way...

Writing...that has been my passion. Storytelling has been my way of communicating with the world.

I have been away from it for awhile, too many obstacles, too many physical and emotion distractions...so I told myself. Maybe the truth is I didn't want to write down and share what was going on in my life!

It has been a year of highs and lows. That is how life works for all of us. Telling the truth and looking at what is can be very overwhelming. We think if we don't address things that it will all go away. It never does.

So let me speak some truths with you and how through adversity comes clarity and a knowing of how to overcome whatever life presents you. I feel a little rusty and a little unsteady with my words, but here it goes!

Let's start with the lows and end with the highs.

I am still struggling with my son Eric. Eric has been an addict for the past 20 years...he is 33 years old now and still struggling with his own self worth, his inability to see himself as a good man and a man that has the ability to become so much more than his addiction.

He is in rehab once again and this time promises to get it right. He has made this promise for the past 20 years. He has had many moments of success and has begun his life over at least 10 times. But drugs are powerful!!!! And no matter what I do as a mother and or friend I can't compete with that. So I have stopped trying to compete and instead have chosen just to love and forgive and let God and Eric try to overcome?

I have been given a rare opportunity to see what it feels like to lose half of my income and try to make it in the world. I was numbed by this sudden occurrence and had many days of panic and sheer dread. How will I make it, how will I pay for everything, how will I house, feed, clothe, and pay for my life saving medications? Big questions, I struggled for the answers! The answers came slowly. I realized I was alone in making this decision and needed to find my way on my own. No one was there to help. Several people said they would and could, but it never materialized. Once again I did the walk with God and let him lead the way. I am glad to say I still have my home, food on the table and have been blessed with an amazing room mate who was sent I am sure to watch over me and help in so many beautiful and caring ways. She is the high of this low.

Leading the way to the highs this past 6 months is my continued good health. We all know what stress can and does do to the body. I was terrified that somehow my body and health may have been affected by all the stress, the tears, the ups and downs...but that did not happen!

I just returned from California with 6 doctor visits under my belt along with ultrasounds, echo-grams, labs, etc. I returned with good news. You know the good news only God can bring to us. Other than a few minor changes and things to watch for I was given a reprieve for another year. I have out lived my unsuccessful open heart surgery done in 1997, I was told I may only live another few years...but I am still here.

I am a kidney transplant survivor of 11 years now. Thanks to the miracle given me by the above mentioned son Eric, the gift keeps on giving. I know he struggles so, but pray he understands that the gift he so generously gave me will be his own entrance into heaven.

So I have chosen to live this next year with the knowing that God has afforded me more time and the needed energy to teach, love, embrace and receive all He has for me. I will keep an open heart, an open mind and a knowing that only good things lie ahead. In His wisdom, he is the miracle worker...I will continue to remain a faithful servant and a believer of miracles... for my life is one of those miracles...

Have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary. repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called-that you might inherit a blessing...1 Peter: 3:8-9