Having a voice...

Not long ago I wrote about the importance of time. The thought I want to share today is about being heard. It's about having a voice.

We all want to be heard and understood. Most of us don't take the time to listen and really hear what one is trying to say.

My Hospice visit today was not for one that was dying, but for that special someone that was grieving. The one left behind. My patient today was an elderly woman who lost a husband...they had been married for 52 years. A bereavement visit that touched me.

As I approached the front door and was welcomed I was stuck with the stillness and emptiness of this beautiful spacious home. It was the emptiness that I felt the most. As we sat and started to talk and I started to listen...I found a woman that hadn't even had a chance to grieve yet as everything and everybody was surely taking care of everything except her. The funeral went well, all the family was there. She was comforted and told the sometime empty words...This will pass, he went peacefully, you will need to make new friends, etc. Like I said empty words.

What I wanted for her today was to have a voice, so I just sat and listened, by the end of the visit she was in tears, she said, for the first time since her family left. She was now truly alone. But today she had a voice because she had someone that gave her the time and an ear to listen.

I made no empty promises that the grieving would be easy and she would soon feel better. Instead I told her to grieve however she needed to and there is no time limit on grief. That you should never forget that loved one because the truth is...we don't. Sometimes well meaning people are not comfortable with talking about death, but the truth is you don't have to talk about it,you just need to listen. Consider it won't you?

So sometime in the future if you need to be someone's comforter, be just that. Lend an ear, give a hug, and let that someone have a voice. You will one day want to be heard...It is wise if we start listening.

I do not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18)