Courage...

Uncle Bob was 78 years old when he went in for a routine operation to fix a heart problem. Four days after his surgery August 4th, 2007 he had a massive stroke that has left him paralyzed on the left side. He was never able to return home...He is still in a nursing home...And today I want to share my idea of true courage...His courage and the steadfastness and courage of his wife JoAnne and immediate family.

They are a special family in today's world. They have seen their mother and father through a very difficult bump in the road. They have loved them through it all. Their continued support and love has given my Uncle and Aunt a very special gift...the gift of family and unconditional love. In today's world that is a rare commodity. The elderly are often overlooked and misunderstood. We would all do well to pay attention to those over 70, they have much to teach...We have much to learn.

Uncle Bob just turned 80 in June. Prior to his illness he played tennis (his passion) taught classes, belonged to many organizations and gave his time to others...Through his generous spirit of love...He helped many and shared his sense of humor and wisdom and wittiness with anyone that would listen. He has lost the use of the left side of his body and has difficulty eating, but he remains courageous and has a willing spirit to stay a little longer. He can still tell a joke, has a memory of the past that is better than mine, and a spirit of courage we could all use when we think things are hard. To Aunt JoAnne, what courage you have had to leave all you know, move to a new place and be gracious through it all. We can all learn from you. You remind me of the Mighty Oak...standing tall and strong... To Uncle Bob and family, thank you for your courage and love, it comes shining through. You do our family proud.

Take courage, and turn your troubles into material for spiritual progress.
St. Francis de Sales

Love...

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. but people will never forget how you made them feel... Maya Angelou

How many times this week did you embrace the love before you? How did someone make you feel, or the deeper question...how did you make someone feel?

It doesn't take much to feel the love from others. You only need to reach out...
This week I received love from a child, you know one of those hugs that is given without a prompt. A genuine glad to see you, wrap their arms around your neck and feel like they will never let go kind of hug.

It was a sigh hug...You know when you feel the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day. They are the sighs of God telling you to breathe and embrace what is. It could be a hug from a friend or someone you just met. A hug given from your heart will always be felt by others. Go hug someone this week and give a big sigh.
And never let them forget how you made them feel...

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Gal. 5:6

Inspiration...

Via Dolorosa

I always thought I lived in the light,
My parents made sure that my faith stayed bright.
To love each other is easy for me, It makes me happy
when friends I see.
I feel so lucky fo feel God's love, He gave us His
Son and His loving Dove.
To love God is to love your neighbor, When we do this,
it pleases our Savior.
I always smile and feel good inside whenever I think of
Pentecost, The Holy Spirit is always with me whenever I
get lost.
Now that I enter my winter years, The Passion of Christ
brings me to tears.
You suffered so much for my sins-it makes me feel shame.
I ask for your mercy, for I share the blame.
God will measure your love for Him when you can put on
your neighbor's shoes and walk in the way of sorrow.
Everything we do should lead us to the path He shows us,
we are all responsible for each other and His cross we
will borrow. I know just what to do to lighten Your
burden and make You smile, I'll walk in Your footprints
for a hundred miles.
Your cross You embraced will be my plan,
The Via Dolorosa was for every man.

Via Dolorosa
"Way of Sorrows"
Jesus' path of Calvary
By Angelina

I wanted to share this beautiful poem written by the patient I paid a visit to last week. I asked her if she ever wrote anything, she said yes...And to my surprise and delight she shared this with me. She has also written about her grief and other poems that would touch your heart. So much talent out there, we need only ask...

Thank you Angie for sharing your heart...

Having a voice...

Not long ago I wrote about the importance of time. The thought I want to share today is about being heard. It's about having a voice.

We all want to be heard and understood. Most of us don't take the time to listen and really hear what one is trying to say.

My Hospice visit today was not for one that was dying, but for that special someone that was grieving. The one left behind. My patient today was an elderly woman who lost a husband...they had been married for 52 years. A bereavement visit that touched me.

As I approached the front door and was welcomed I was stuck with the stillness and emptiness of this beautiful spacious home. It was the emptiness that I felt the most. As we sat and started to talk and I started to listen...I found a woman that hadn't even had a chance to grieve yet as everything and everybody was surely taking care of everything except her. The funeral went well, all the family was there. She was comforted and told the sometime empty words...This will pass, he went peacefully, you will need to make new friends, etc. Like I said empty words.

What I wanted for her today was to have a voice, so I just sat and listened, by the end of the visit she was in tears, she said, for the first time since her family left. She was now truly alone. But today she had a voice because she had someone that gave her the time and an ear to listen.

I made no empty promises that the grieving would be easy and she would soon feel better. Instead I told her to grieve however she needed to and there is no time limit on grief. That you should never forget that loved one because the truth is...we don't. Sometimes well meaning people are not comfortable with talking about death, but the truth is you don't have to talk about it,you just need to listen. Consider it won't you?

So sometime in the future if you need to be someone's comforter, be just that. Lend an ear, give a hug, and let that someone have a voice. You will one day want to be heard...It is wise if we start listening.

I do not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18)

A Rose for the caregiver...

Caregiver...according to the Webster Dictionary...a person who provides direct care.

What does that mean? Caregivers are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, nurses, doctors, the list goes on. Caregivers are at the heart of every relationship. A mother takes care of her child, women take care of their husbands, husbands take care of their wives. Caregiving is a very special kind of caring...

Caring for someone is an unselfish act of love and kindness that necessitates a certain type of personality. Always putting others first before themselves. It is
both rewarding...but ultimately exhausting.

In the world of transplant, those waiting for a life changing organ or tissue to enhance or give life are dependent upon others to be their caregivers, to protect and provide care. We must realize that caregivers do become tired and weary and need their own outlets away from our illnesses. Caregivers take care of every physical and emotional illness that abounds in our everyday lives.

We do somehow become defined by our illnesses rather than our own person. It is a struggle within ourselves to come to terms with that and realize that becoming our own caregiver is sometimes a necessity. It is always hard to deal with one's own mortaility or illness. Our own personal strength and growth must come from deep inside ourselves. We must learn to be our own caregiver. And give the caregiver a rest.

How do we become our own caregiver? Not an easy thing to learn or become. We must learn to look inside ourselves and to God for our own blanket of comfort.

One way is to learn to live gently with ourselves and others. Gentle means being kind, considerate, patient and tender. Living gently will create an aura of peace in our lives...a down comforter if you will of support for ourselves and those with whom we are in relationships.

Another way is to face our own imperfections and learn to love ourselves. A difficult task if we have been dedicated to being a perfectionist. But like anything else it takes practice...and learning to be gentle to ourselves is a good start.

So today if you have a caregiver in your life, be sure to thank them for all they do. And if you love them, make sure they have time to nurture themselves so they can continue on with being the gift that they are. A caregiver...

I find that it is not the circumstances in which we are placed, but the spirit in which we meet them that constitutes our comfort...Elizabeth King